Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Introducing Kuli: The Ultimate One-Eyed Surfer Cat

Cats hate water!

That’s like Gospel Truth. Their fur isn’t simply made for getting wet. If you have a pet cat at home, you will surely know how difficult it is to convince the animal to take a bath.

So much is this fact known that it has found its way into Literature as well! Remember the Yiddish Idiom – ‘How does a cat cross over the water?’ In India, you’ll often hear the term ‘bheegi billi,’ meaning, ‘a wet cat' that's suggestive of a coward.

But, surprise, surprise! Here’s a kitty that’s totally in love with water.

Meet Kuli – the surfer cat.
Kuli the surfing cat
Kuli - the surfing cat
He is one-eyed, but a pro in hanging ten. This orange kitty took to surfing when he was barely 6 months old. You’d love how he wears an ergonomically made life jacket during his endeavours. Kuli is full of life and enjoys riding the waves in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Presently, he surfs with his owners – Alexandra Gomez and Krista Littleton. According to them, Kuli developed this fearlessness while he was recovering from an eye surgery. Gomez and Littleton used to bathe him regularly, which made him lose the fear of water altogether.

Kuli the cat, surfing
Kuli, the wonder cat does not fear water
The roomies trained the cat by putting him on their own longboards, and later bought him a wavestorm foam board of his own. They say he loves the spongy material on such boards.

Kuli was a malnourished alley cat that was rescued from the streets of Oahu by the owners. He weighed less than a pound back then. His one eye had to be surgically removed as it was damaged due to an infection.

Kuli with her owners Gomez and Littleton
Kuli with owners Alexandra Gomez and Krista Littleton
The kitty’s name is derived from the Hawaiian word ‘Nanakuli,’ which means ‘to look blind.’ Kuli is a feline surfer of the league of adventure animals like Didga – the skateboarding cat and Ricochet – the surfer dog. You can follow the kitty on Instagram @kulithesurfingcat.


Image source: Instagram.

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

If Hotel California Were a Doctor's Song, This is What it Would Mean

Who doesn’t know the Eagles? Especially their chartbuster song Hotel California?
Over the years, the song has been interpreted in so many different ways. Some say it’s about Satanism; some link it to drug addiction, others believe it depicts hedonism, and still others argue it’s about cannibalism. The mysterious lyrics have managed to intrigue people from all over the world.
When everyone’s busy decoding the song in his own way, why, then, should the medical fraternity stay behind? Here’s how a doctor recently dissected, examined, and explained its meaning:

Welcome to the Hotel California!

Hotel California funny meaning

Hotel California Funny Meaning 2

Hotel California Funny Meaning 8

Hotel California Funny Meaning 3

Hotel California Funny Meaning 4

Hotel California Funny Meaning 5

Hotel California Funny Meaning 6

Hotel California Funny Meaning 7

Operation Hotel California by Munna Bhai MBBS? o_O

Monday, 28 September 2015

The Best Online Deal Of My Life And The Story Of The Missing Pink Choker Set

A few years back, I had ordered a few tacky-looking jewelry sets from a leading eCommerce website (today, I wonder why I did). The deal was nothing unique. There was a pink choker set with large, dangling earrings, on display, and three other multicolored scoop shorts of weird designs. I was into my first job and enjoying the liberty of spending self-earned money to the fullest. Perhaps.

Best Online Deal Ever
So, I had placed a COD order with a Rs 2000 plus something bill. And, I was excited. It was the first thing I was going to buy with my salary. And it felt great. I eagerly waited for the delivery date to arrive. However, the product never came. The tracking tool on the website said it ‘had already been shipped.’ So, I sent back an e-mail inquiring about my order. Luckily, their response was quick.

“Dear Miss Deka, we are extremely sorry for the inconvenience and delay caused. Your product will be delivered tomorrow at 4 pm by so-and-so person.”

The wait was on. The delivery boy came the next day with a big package. I handed him the cash and quickly rushed inside the office to open it. There were three packages. The pink choker was missing. And one of the other two sets was broken.

So, there was another e-mail inquiring about the missing product and the replacement of the broken set. The response was quick again. “Dear Miss Deka, we sincerely apologize the inconvenience caused. Could you specify the model numbers of the two products?” The model numbers were mailed. And there was another response. “Dear Miss Deka, we are sending the two products at the earliest.” I was overjoyed and almost felt like a VIP. So, this means that the broken set need not be returned.

Five days later, another person was in my office, this time with a smaller package. The replacement was there, but the pink choker was still missing. The eCommerce firm had sent me a different set instead. So, there was some more emailing and complaining. More “Dear Miss Deka, we are sending the two products at the earliest” responses followed. A month later, I had three pieces of a set that wasn’t even included in the deal. And the most interesting part was, the firm had not demanded their return as of yet.

However, I was at my wit’s end. How could they not deliver my pink choker – the one because of which I had chosen the deal in the first place?!? So, I decided to try a trick this time. I hunted for that extra set on their website, noted its model number, and e-mailed them that I had not received the set. To my amusement, the pink choker was delivered this time. Wonderful, wonderful feeling! So, I had spent Rs 2000 plus something for 8 pieces of jewelry, had not I? Double profit, it was!

Sometimes I feel bad that I never inquired anything about returning the extra sets. But then, even they didn’t, did they? So why bother? For me, this was the best online deal of my life. It’s funny how I have never worn the pink choker. And about the extra sets, well, they were given away as gifts. Oh come on, you don't have to take it otherwise, do you? :) :P

Jewelry jackpot

Saturday, 26 September 2015

Everyday Products That are Derived From Animal Parts

How vegan do you think you are? Nice that you have cut on your consumption of meat. Great that you look around for organic products only. However, the factories and industries could be silently giving your vegan lifestyle a big blow. Want to know how? Go through these everyday product your are using. They usually contain animal parts (smirk)!

Perfume from sperm whale shit or vomit

Ambergris is the name for the excreta of sperm whales. It's rare and usually found floating in the oceans. It's solid, waxy, and out-and-out the poop of the mammal. Remember the bitter taste you experienced when you accidentally sprayed your costly perfume into your mouth. Ahem, poopy pleasure!

Perfume from whale poop

Ground up beetles in strawberry shakes and lipsticks

Carmine is a coloring agent acquired from crushed beetles. The industry has termed it a sophisticate name - Cochineal extract. Well, sadly, it is sometimes the red ingredient present in strawberry shakes. Um, Starbucks had almost blurted it out once (oops!). And, oh yes, have you been using any cosmetic product, especially lipstick that contains 'natural red 4' or 'carmine' or 'crimson lake.' Throw it away because you are applying beetle juice. Gee!

Carmine in lipstick and Strawberry shake

Beaver anal gland secretion and urine in vanilla ice cream

Castoreum, the brown, slimy thing that comes out of beaver's butt, goes into vanilla ice creams that you savor with such greed. Of course, you should not expect to acquire this biochemical in its purest form straight from the butt. Because the anal glands are located very near to the castor sac, from where Castoreum is secreted, the latter is a combo of beaver piss and other secretions of the gland as well. Hey, are you licking a beaver's butt right now?

Castoreum of bever in vanilla ice cream

Face creams with oil exudate from sheep skin

What happen to your hair when you don't wash it for days? It gets greasy, right? And, what if you've never ever taken a bath? Can you imagine the amount of oil that will accumulate in your scalp and hair? Now, think about a sheep with a lot of wool. The sebaceous glands present in the animal's skin excrete an oily product known as Lanolin, which is a great moisturizer. And, this is exactly what goes into most face creams.

Lanolin face cream from sheep

Jello-O is boiled pig skin + bovine hide + pork & cattle bones

A protein called Gelatin is obtained when pig and bovine skin, tendons, ligaments and bones are boiled in water. It is used as a thickener in puddings, Jell-Os, ice creams, marshmallow, cakes, and candies. Um, watch what you are eating!

Gelatin from cows and pigs

Energy drinks are bull bile

Taurine is a naturally occurring substance present in bull bile. It is extracted from the animal and introduced in energy drinks. Check the can right now. If it says 'Taurine' you sure are drinking bull bile. By the way, Red Bull is quite a nice (self explanatory) name, don't you think?

Taurine in energy drinks comes from bull bile

Shark liver oil in  lipstick and eye makeup

Squalene is a substance derived from shark liver oil. This compound can mimic the natural moisturizers present in our body. It behaves as a lubricant on the surface of our skin, absorbing very quickly, and giving us a flawless appearance. Ugh, shark up!

Shark liver oil squalene in eye makeup lipstick

Fish scales in nail polish

Does you nail polish contain 'pearl essence?' Well, this is not derived from some pearl found in the deepest of the deep oceans, like you believe it is. It is Guanine in disguise, which comes from fish scales. The scales are cleaned and mixed with solvents like castor oil. Coloring pigments are added, and bingo! Your bottle of nail polish happens! Yes, bitter truth, it is. Sounds very fishy, right?

Fish scales in nail polish

Bull semen in hair products

Silky, shiny hair - don't you just love it? But, would you mask your mane with bull semen all over to get it? Ew. But, the fact is, you might actually be applying it already (yes, unknowingly). There are some shampoos and conditioners that make use of this yucky product. By the way, there's something called semen facial as well. Want to go for it?

Bull semen shampoo

Snail slime in scar treatment and anti aging creams

The slime is a concoction of proteins, anti-oxidants, and hyaluronic acid. These three ingredients assist in skip repair. They pull out dead cells, reduce inflammation, moisturize skin, and keep it safe from wrinkles. No wonder the cocktail has found its way into scar treatment and age-defying creams. Have you ever rubbed snail slime on your face?

snail slime in cream

Lamb / sheep intestine in condoms

Not all condoms are made of latex. Study the packet. If it says 'lambskin,' then it surely has come from the intestine of a lamb or sheep. And its perforated. With no guarantee of keeping viruses and bacteria away. But, on second thoughts, what has a condom to do with being vegetarian? Oops.

Lambskin condom

Image source: Internet

Saturday, 29 August 2015

Weird and Bad Dressing Advices We Hear Almost Every Day

Fashion policing comes so easily (and often without asking for it) these days. Whether a fashion freak or not, each one of us has faced the assault sometime or the other in our lives.
Source: Google
Remember your mom lecturing you about the ‘right’ kind of dress you should wear? Remember how such dresses often used to hang loose from your shoulders and never fit you? Or the times your beau chose to pick on you for the dress you wore?

My mom dressing me up
Source: Living Learning Eating
Yes, the jeers are hard to digest. But, on second thoughts, do we really need the policing? Do we deserve it?
“It’s a new era in fashion — there are no rules.” – Alexander McQueen
Here are some bad fashion tips we get from the people around us all the time and the reasons why you are better off without them:

Fashion Blah #1: The ‘dress doesn’t matter’ spiritual crap.

It does! What you are wearing influences your personality in every way. Try walking out of your home in a garbage bag. Will you feel confident and phlegmatic? Never!

Funny Man in Garbage Bag
Source: BuzzFeed
From the color to the fit, each aspect of your dress has an impact on your mood and behavior; did you know that? Maybe this is why it is advisable that you go for dress shopping if you are feeling low.

Fashion Blah #2: Being fashionable is being extravagant.

Roll eyes. Haven’t people heard about budget clothing? There are a lot of brands and clothing lines, which offer amazingly fashionable dresses at flatteringly affordable rates.

Rather, the focus should be more on the usage. Want to buy something, which you can wear every day, spill ketchup, wash, and dump in whatever way you like? Go for cheap fashion.

Want to buy something which you intend to wear only once in a while on special occasions? Buy something expensive, and of high quality. Problem solved.

Shut Up and Take My Money for the Dress
Source: Forever Twenty Somethings
Fashion Blah #3: You should dress according to your age.

Really? And what is that supposed to mean? That you cannot look sexy? That you cannot wear the top you used to wear in your high school? That you should not keep up with the trend? It’s way too boring!

There’s no rule set in the constitution commanding that elderly people shouldn’t wear what they like. Only those mindless vigilantes of undesired fashion policing troops advise you to do so. Ignore them.

Dressing according to age
Source: BuzzFeed
Fashion Blah #4: ‘Large’ makes you look thinner:

Sadly, they don’t. They make you look clumsy instead. People recommending this should learn about the things called ‘shapewear’ and ‘plus sized clothes.’

Large Dress Does not make you look smaller
Source: We Heart It
The latter option offers everything – from skinny jeans to body hugging tops – that are just the right size and fit for the ones who are high on the fat factor. The former keeps every flab and bulge in place, making you look fabulous.

“Life’s too short to wear boring clothes.” - Cushnie et Ochs
You are what you wear – this is the only rule you should follow. You need to stop fretting over what the world has to say, and start loving your body. If you have a good taste in clothes, you must flaunt it by wearing the most envious designs ever!

Only the insecure likes to keep himself out of everyone’s sight. Why hide what you have? Why turn invisible when you deserve, in every way, to be noticed? Break the rules now!

Be confident in what you wear
Source: Pinky Pink

Thursday, 20 August 2015

You Can Stand Under My PHONE-Brella, Ella, Ella, Eh, Eh

Had this thing come up few years ago, Rihanna would have sung this song instead!

The Phone-brella is a simple solution to those who hate getting wet in the rain or making their smartphones do the same. It is a way out to text even when it’s pouring heavily. No craning over the device to shield it. No trying to save the screen with your palm. The wonder umbrella does it for you!
Phone-brella, the new phone umbrella
Source: Complex Style
This innovative product comes from the Korean company, kt Design. It resembles any general umbrella with just the exception of an added C-shaped plastic handle for mobile users, which has been designed in a way such that it sits on the wrist securely. Thus, you can carry it hands-free and use your hands for fiddling with your phone instead.

The C-shaped handle of Phone-brella

And, because the product does not snap back like most umbrellas, there isn’t any risk of water damaging your smartphone. Isn’t it just incredible?

The concept has earned the company the prestigious Red Dot Design award. The function has been explained in an interesting video, which features a man struggling in the rain with a conventional umbrella and a phone before a kind woman arrives and replaces it with her Phone-brella.

The Phone-brella ad
Source: The Daily Mail
However, (ahem!) it’s interesting and intriguing how she subsequently manages to covet a place near him under the umbrella and watch him type something on his phone.

Phone-brella ad
Source: Complex Style
And yes, the advertisement ends with a message that the product is now available in five different shades – Classic Gray, Smoky Gray, Blossom Red, Royal Red and Chic Black.
The Phone-Brella is available in five different shades
Source: Hyperblast
This is a huge revolution which will soon catch the attention of smartphone addicts or anyone who likes to do everything else, but hold an umbrella in the rain. Imagine them humming this tune to their phones:

“When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'd be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I’mma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Phone-brella
You can stand under my Phone-brella

Rihanna Under My Umbrella
Source: Tumblr

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Five Common Earphone Struggles: Which One Are You Stuck With?

One of humankind’s greatest inventions is EARPHONES! Just plug in a pair and get detached from this world! We could have never become solo music enthusiasts without them. And imagine the horror of boring lectures choking us! Well, thanks to technology, we now have a way out to manage our audio-environment and control our audio privacy even in the midst of a humming crowd.

However, we all have had our share of struggles with our earphones, too! These are common and worldwide. Like –

#1: The Tangled Mass in Our Pockets & Bags!

No matter how hard we try to prevent this, at the end of the day, it happens. God knows what goes on inside the space, but we can never manage to get it sorted on its own. The struggle to untie the knot invites exasperation. And, remember the annoyance when a tug at the plug pulls the earbuds instead? Sigh!

Tangled earphones
Source: WeKnowMemes
#2: Earphones With Only One Side Working!

Admit it, we all have suffered this at some point of time or the other, and wondered if our ears are really working. We try tapping the earbuds, twist the cable, and rolling the plug inside the jack, but to no avail. And at the end, we give up and console ourselves with the other earbud that’s working fine…(and silently fear for its well being).

Earphones with only one side working
Source: The Wirecutter
#3. Noisy Audio That’s Solved Only When You Tease The Wire!

It feels like someone’s kneading plastic near our ears. And then, when we fiddle with the cable, the noise’s gone! It’s kind of magical, and makes us feel proud of our (pseudo) engineering capabilities. Yes, it does.

Noisy audio in earphones
#4. The Bud Covers Love Your Ears More Than The Phones!

The earbuds come, repose in our ears and then, leave their covers behind! And, while we frantically search for them everywhere, it never occurs to us that they might just be residing within the hollow of our hearing organs. Ah! Couldn’t each one of us have debuted as the lead character in Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist?

Earbud covers
Source: Brookstone
#5. The Earbuds Keep Popping Out!

Yet another annoyance is this one. We wish for a great audio experience, carefully place the buds in the ear cavity, and switch on the music player. But, what happens? The buds keep slipping out every goddamn minute! And, thus flees the music zealot away from us! Lol!

Earphones keep falling out
Source: Quick Meme
Okay, #2 and #3 are signs that your earphone is about to die. Get it replaced now. As for #4 and #5, well, there’s no other option than to take it with a grain of salt. However, I am pretty sure there must be a solution to #1. Do you know the hack? If yes, then kindly share!

Saturday, 4 April 2015

Game of Thrones Dialogues Only an IT Employee Can Relate To

Woes of an IT employee are endless. He is paid peanuts, his work is Herculean, appraisals are vague, and life is miserable. His contributions go disregarded, and with a heavy heart he sits down to watch his favorite show - Game of Thrones. And leaping lizards! What does he see? His life reeling in IT!

What the CEO thinks
Everyone is Mine to Torment - King Joffrey
Go home CEO, you're drunk.

What your Team Leader believes
You know nothing, Jon Snow
Why? Why?

What you wish to say to your Team Leader
Tywin Lannister

What all clients try to teach you
You're talking to a king - Joffrey
Yeah, right. And I am the Kingslayer. How about that?

What you wish you could do to your clients
Dracarys - Daenerys Targaryen
Burn them all!

The one who takes credit for your work
Jamie Lannister
 There are no morons like you. Only you.

About the colleague who recently resigned
Night's Watch
When will it be my turn?

Your boss to you, during appraisals
Your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth - Tyrion Lannister
Well, at least I am getting ashes. Something is better than nothing.

You, to your boss
That stands for 'yes sir,' because you are out of words.

And, this is how you'd like to remind your boss about an upcoming yearly appraisal
See my clothes? I need to buy a new sweater. Salary insufficient.

What right does the wolf judge the lion? But, Valar Morghulis, dear friends, when you are into IT.

Image source: Internet